this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
