omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
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I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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