I need help removing her.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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