she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
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I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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