I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
