respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
