Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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