So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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