Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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