My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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