I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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