Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
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hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
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Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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