Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
