If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
