I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My vagina just clenched in fear
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
