Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
