i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
