I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
