Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Success! We fucked roommates!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
