soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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