Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
