I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize