Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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