So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
