It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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