this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
