On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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