I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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