I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
seriously i just wanna be friends
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.