that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
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he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.