Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.