ugly people sure do ruin things
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.