whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.