I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
