Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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