Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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