Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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