Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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