whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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