I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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