You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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