Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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