He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
