Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
