i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
