I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
