What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
