I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
