I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
