That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I will pee on everything he values.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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