We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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