The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize