Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
