Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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