how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
