Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
