your thong is hanging out like whoa
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
