Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
