Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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