Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
