I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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