I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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