Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
