I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
