My hair reeks of homosexuality.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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