Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
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So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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