I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wish there were birth control emojis
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize