The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
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i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
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I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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