At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
